Eleven days since my surgery, another surreal chapter in my cancer story. I'm doing very well, my wounds are healing nicely, my appetite is slowly coming back, and my energy level is gradually increasing. I'm impatient with the pace, of course, but really I couldn't hope for things to be going better.
A few notes from surgery and my stay in the hospital:
- The surgery took about six hours. Of course for me it was instantaneous! I was pretty groggy when I came out of it, but I will always remember waking up to "we were able to get it all"!
- For the next three days they woke me every four hours to take blood and measure my vitals. My blood pressure was sky high, but the blood sugar readings quickly came back to normal. Amazing what just 25% of a pancreas can do. But don't check into a hospital to get some rest!
- On Saturday night,trying to get back to sleep, I apparently hit my pain pump way too many times. So by Sunday morning I was overdosed on Dilaudid, one of the worst experiences of my life. My heart was racing, and whole body was tingling fiercely, and worst of all, I was having gruesome hallucinations that I couldn't stop. I'll spare any more details, but it was a horrible day. By Monday morning it was basically over.
- When you have a very sore abdomen every move you make is a jolt of pain. Fortunately I was able to get reasonably comfortable again by about Tuesday. I am glad I put in all those years of running and cycling, they were worth it after all. Most of the muscle pain is just about gone.
- I saw legions of doctors, nurses, and aides, and all of them were wonderful. Their kindness was so impactful, and I will always be so grateful to Hopkins and the quality of people they employ.
- Now that I know what the surgeon actually did I can see why his reputation is so strong. It's remarkable that I have recovered so much just 11 days after major surgery.
So, where am I today? Basically I'm still elated to be cancer free! But I do have lots of issues and questions that I still have to deal with. First, my neuropathy (numbness and tingling in my hands and feet) is worse than ever. In another week or two I will look into possible treatments, like medications or acupuncture. My GP told me it should get better within a year or so, but I'm concerned since it seems to be getting worse. Second, my blood pressure; it has returned to normal under the two medications I'm taking, but I will have to keep an eye on it. Third, blood sugar; so far nothing but good news on that front. And last, but most worrisome, is that they may recommend that I do more chemotherapy to make sure all of the cancer is gone. They are going to have to make a pretty strong case, because the last thing I want to do is more chemo, especially when my fingers and toes are still bothering me so much. I think it is a pretty standard recommendation, unfortunately.
As I said several times since last May, throughout the treatment period I tried to stay as uninformed as possible about my situation; when I did learn things they usually made me more upset and anxious. Now that I do know the full extent of the cancer and to what degree the odds were against me, I can only describe where I am today as a miracle! I believe the key factor was that I was able to tolerate 12 rounds of the nasty chemo regimen, which ultimately killed almost all of the cancer. And then of course, the skill of the surgeon was critical. On the spiritual side, I believe the support and love from so many of you family members and friends was crucial to my optimism and humor. No one can measure these things, but I know that they really, really mattered. I am so grateful... to be cancer free, to have wonderful people around me, and to be looking forward to many years with my family.
Finally, words can't express how grateful I am to Allison. I don't know how she did it, but I do know that no one could have done it as well. I am a very lucky man.
What's next? I don't know. Stay tuned.
