I have a new essay on the companion blog, and I think it's entertaining. Look here: http://rickstrailnotes.blogspot.com/

If that doesn't work, I would just Google: rickstrailnotes blogspot.

A letter from my dear Aunt Gladys, who is dealing with cancer herself. She does not have a computer. 

Gladys, if you see this, I hope you don't mind me sharing your humor. I love you.

Back into "same old, same old" mode. A week after chemo, still feeling pretty lousy, stomach pain and upset, low energy, blah, blah, blah. Hardly worth posting, but I'm trying to keep a consistent pace.

We hosted a nice party for the soccer team on Friday, and that was great. I actually drank two beers, which was probably 1 1/2 too many, but it did help my appetite. Seeing all the team parents was great, and the girls had a blast. That did very good things for my spirits. Even if I had to take a nap in the middle.

Lots of friends scheduled this week, including Mark and George from far away, a real highlight for me. Next weekend I'm off to Wintergreen with my extended family for my parents 65th (65th! are you kidding me!) anniversary. Certain to be a special and emotion-filled weekend.

Hope you are all enjoying the recent beautiful weather! My best to you all.

Well, I'm in a real different place after yesterday. I'm not thinking as much anymore of getting through to the surgery, but instead making the most of every day through several more months of treatment. I knew it might be a long slog, but now I know that that is the reality. I'm looking at 8 or even 12 more rounds of chemo, so my goal now is to be as happy and healthy as I can through the summer and fall, and get to radiation and surgery when it is time.

Chemo has been really difficult for me, but to the doctors I guess I'm the model patient. My weight has stabilized, I've been getting some exercise, my white blood count is good, and so on. So doing lots more of it is a no-brainer for them! They are going to reduce my dosages by 20%, and they also think my body may be adjusting somewhat, so they tell me it should(?) get easier. I hope so. Really.

I'm also going to try to get more out of my time when I'm vertical. One thing I'd like to do is to try doing some art; I've never taken an art class in my life. Does anyone know an art teacher who might come to my house and work with me?

I also might write more. But not as much about cancer. To hell with cancer.

Today was a very, very anxious day. The good news is the chemo is doing what it should, though my expectations were too high. But the doc wants me to do 8 more rounds or more to degrade the tumors more for eventual surgery, which is really hard to accept. I feel like I'm on mile two of a marathon. I'll write more later, but right now I'm emotionally overwhelmed. I'm so grateful for the great doctors, and for all of your support. Bless you all.

Well, chemo doesn't get any easier. I finished round 4 Saturday, and I've been mostly horizontal since. The cumulative effect of several rounds has me feeling "more chemical" than ever before; food tastes metallic, I have neuropathy (a condition where my skin is very sensitive to cold), and I have a strange, drugged-like feeling of fatigue that is different than before. But as I write this at 1:10 am Monday morning, I am starting to come out of it.

This is my first post for a week, but I guess I made up for it a little by posting on Facebook. It was great to get so many encouraging replies, at a time that I was feeling pretty discouraged about doing another round. Many, many thanks to those of you who sent love and encouragement! It truly does make a difference for me, I do believe in the healing power of positive energy, and I am using you all as my energy source. I even found that my old friend Linda Scimeca is a cancer coach, and she is coming over to help me later today. I am so grateful for all of you.

Tuesday is a big day for me, I go to Hopkins for scans and tests to see what affect the chemo has had. If it's good news, I'm sure I'll be posting soon. Bad news, I'm not so sure... Let's all hope for the best.

I did publish a new post on the other blog. You can find it here: https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=795755121839993435#allposts.

Warning: it is kind of sad. But writing does help me, somehow.

I guess when I started this blog I thought there would be news to report on a regular basis, and that I would post lots of updates about how I was hanging in there and staying strong. The reality is that there is not much real news, and that much of the time I'm just resting and dealing with the effects of chemo. I could fill in details about how it makes me feel and how I try to deal with it, but I don't see much point in that. It is hard, and it's getting harder, and I have a long way to go. But I'm still determined, and I'll still do whatever it takes to beat this thing.

I get several contacts each day and they all mean a lot to me. So, if you feel inclined, please do email or text or comment to the blog, I do like getting them. And I'm curious about who is reading the blog.

I might write another long piece on the companion blog soon. But if I do, it will probably be a bit depressing and I'm not sure it will have any worthwhile insights. I guess I thought cancer might make me profound, but I think it's just making me sick.

It's been a tough go this week, getting over this last round. The docs said that the effects of chemo are cumulative, and they they spoke the truth. l'll spare the details, but the gist of it is I'm exhausted and trying to manage stomach issues enough to eat regularly. I'm a little better today than yesterday, but not bouncing back like I'd hoped. Not much to do but go back to bed.

Round 3 of chemo is over. I'm feeling quite drained, hard to walk up a flight of steps or get up off the couch. Lots of stomach churning, a bit of nausea, etc. Neuropathy as well, a sensitivity to touching things in my hands and feet and mouth, especially cold things which feel like an electric shock. In other words, just the way I'm supposed to feel. It was a little better than last time, I think my body is adjusting to these nasty compounds, beginning to think they are normal. I feel like with a few more rounds I might actually start to thrive on them, turn into some kind of alien being that lives off vile chemicals. The image I have is like those green lizardy beings from that miniseries "V", which must have aired 5 years ago... or 10 ... or 20. Remember? I don't really either.

But anyway, I'm OK, and ready to start recovering tomorrow with my white blood cell booster shot and all the protein rich food I can tolerate. Still craving tomato sauce, thinking a steak sounds pretty good, and all kinds of fish. Except mussels, don't like mussels. I've lost about 12 pounds since the diagnosis in early May, so that's not too bad if I can hold it where I am. I look a little better with cheekbones and a jaw line, except when I have that green pallor.

There'll be one more round of chemo, then a real big day on July 21 when I go to Hopkins and they see how well the chemo is working. That will be an anxious day to say the least.

Please keep emailing, texting, commenting, calling, praying, etc. Every one means a lot to me and boosts my spirits! I'm blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.

These posts are getting boring. Maybe I'll make something up, like Daniel Snyder came by to wish me luck today! Not true, of course, but I did meet Roy Jefferson on the golf course today. Two points if you remember who he is. Hint: he was not JJ's father on any TV shows.

Chemo round 3 starts tomorrow. I'm pretty bummed out about that, but my latest attitude is to just get really ticked off about it. Like "Hit me again - is that all you got? Bring it on!!" We'll see how that goes... I suspect some of Mike Tyson's foes tried the same approach.

Loved that soccer game last night! Didn't they play great? More good inspiration.

Last but not least, I really had great visits this week with two old friends, Janis and Kathryn. Thanks to them, and to all of you who are supporting me. It makes a real difference for me.